You're so nebulous sometimes
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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