Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ugly people sure do ruin things
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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