when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
