Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
