omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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