if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think people are normalizing furries
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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