TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
