at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
