If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
