apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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