mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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