omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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