Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
