Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
