ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
