thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
