they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
