i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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