Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
