Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you still have your period?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
