This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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