My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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