He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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