so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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