Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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