mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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