is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
How's work?
Spinning.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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