Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
