I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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