I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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