Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
