If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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