Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
