I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
