I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
