I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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