i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
