Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
