Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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