I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
