Betty ford says i'm here all night
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
