ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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