I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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