have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
