I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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