i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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