Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
