i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize