i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
