I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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