so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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