In the future we'll all be gay
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize