Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
