I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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