And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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