The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
