Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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