One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
