I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
