i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
