ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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