Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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