thus making me awesome and them whores
nutella sex= disaster
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
