so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize