oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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