I puked a lego.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My feet surprised me
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
