can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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