so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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