I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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