What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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