smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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