The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
