u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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