He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
A bitchslap is in order.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
