i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
