that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
