I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
