i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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