she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
