I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
