So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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