Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
