It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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