Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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