do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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